What Your Thoughts Say About You (and What They Don’t)
We all have thoughts. They’re an essential part of the human experience, ranging from uplifting and inspiring to negative and distressing. But here’s the question: Do your thoughts define you? Are they a true reflection of your character?
For years, I believed that only having positive thoughts was the ultimate goal. When I strayed from this ideal, I thought something was deeply wrong with me. This mindset created a toxic cycle where negative thoughts gained more power, dictating how I felt and experienced my life. What I’ve learned since then has changed my life forever.
Let’s explore what your thoughts truly say about you—and how to relate to them in a healthier, more empowering way.
1. You Are Not Your Thoughts
As Sydney Banks, the founder of the Three Principles, reminds us, thoughts are like clouds passing through the sky—they come and go. They are fleeting, impermanent, and do not define who you are.
It’s natural to have both uplifting and troubling thoughts. The key is to recognize their transient nature. When you step back and see thoughts for what they are—momentary mental events—you gain the freedom to choose which ones deserve your attention and action.
Reflection from the Tao Te Ching:
“Do you have the patience to wait till your mud settles and the water is clear? Can you remain unmoving till the right action arises by itself?”
This ancient wisdom reminds us to observe thoughts without judgment. In stillness, clarity emerges.
2. Let Go of Trying to Manage Your Thoughts
Wayne Dyer often said, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” This applies directly to our thoughts. Trying to forcefully control or banish negative thoughts often gives them more power. Instead, cultivate awareness and observe your thoughts without attachment.
If you find yourself stuck in a cycle of negativity, pause. Take a deep breath and remind yourself: This too shall pass. Trust that fresh, uplifting thoughts are always just a moment away.
3. There Is Nothing Wrong With You
Negative or unpleasant thoughts are part of being human. They don’t indicate that something is fundamentally wrong with you.
These thoughts are often triggered by stress, past experiences, or even temporary moods. They are not a reflection of your worth or character. What matters is how you respond to them.
Sydney Banks beautifully articulated this:
“The mind is a beautiful thing when it is clear. Negative thoughts are like shadows—fleeting and without substance, unless we chase them.”
4. You Are Not Alone
It’s easy to feel isolated when negative thoughts consume you, but the truth is, everyone experiences them. Sharing your challenges with a trusted friend, coach, or community can be incredibly freeing.
Finding a supportive space where you can explore your thoughts without judgment can remind you of our shared humanity. We’re all navigating the same inner terrain.
5. Show Yourself the Grace You So Easily Give to Others
We often extend kindness and understanding to others but forget to offer the same to ourselves. Practice self-compassion by speaking to yourself with the same care you would give to a dear friend.
Instead of forcing positive thoughts, simply spend more time with the ones that feel good. As Wayne Dyer said, “You cannot always control what goes on outside, but you can always control what goes on inside.”
Allow yourself to laugh, let go, and take life a little less seriously. Negative thoughts lose their grip when we approach them with lightness and grace.
Final Thoughts
Your thoughts are part of your mental landscape, but they do not define you. They are fleeting experiences, not fixed truths. Embrace the full spectrum of your thoughts, knowing that you have the power to respond to them in ways that align with your values and bring you peace.
When you cultivate awareness, self-compassion, and a willingness to let go, you’ll begin to experience life with greater clarity, joy, and ease.
“You are not your thoughts, but the observer of them.” – Sydney Banks
Coach Scotto